I don't wake up.
Not really.
I float somewhere just below it, where sound exists without shape and time doesn't behave the way it should. There's pain, but it's distant, muffled, like it belongs to someone else. I can feel hands on me now and then, pressure at my shoulder, my arm, my chest, but none of it pulls me fully back.
What keeps me anchored are the voices.
They come in first, before anything else. Not loud. Not panicked. Controlled. Tired.
"She's right," Scarlett says. "If we stay here too long, something else will come looking."
There's a pause after that. I imagine she's scanning the area again, even though we're already somewhere else. She never stops doing that.
"We're not leaving yet," Celeste replies calmly. "Not until he stabilizes."
"He's breathing," Scarlett says. "That's stabilized enough for me."
"No," Celeste says. Not sharp. Just firm. "It isn't."
Another pause. Someone shifts closer. I feel fabric brush against my arm.
Violet speaks next, quieter than the others. "He tried to move earlier."
I feel fingers press lightly at my wrist, checking something. "He didn't," Scarlett says.
"He did," Violet insists. "Just barely. Like he thought he was supposed to."
There's something fragile in her voice. Not fear exactly. Something closer to frustration, maybe guilt.
Celeste exhales slowly. "That tracks."
Scarlett scoffs. "Of course it does. He doesn't know how to stop."
"He passed out standing," Violet says. "That's not normal."
"Nothing about him is normal," Scarlett replies.
The ground beneath me shifts slightly. Someone adjusts my weight. I feel a dull ache flare in my ribs and then fade again.
"Careful," Violet murmurs.
"I am being careful," Scarlett snaps back, then catches herself. Her voice lowers. "Sorry."
That's new.
Silence stretches for a moment, broken only by the faint sound of wind outside wherever we are. I try to piece together the space around me, but it slips away every time I get close.
Celeste speaks again. "How long was he like that before he collapsed?"
"Too long," Scarlett answers immediately.
Violet hesitates. "Long enough that I thought he was going to stay up."
"Yeah," Scarlett mutters. "Me too."
There's a pause after that. A heavier one.
"He shouldn't have been able to," Violet says.
"I know," Scarlett replies.
I feel Celeste's hand rest at the side of my neck, fingers warm and steady. Not checking. Just grounding.
"That doesn't mean he should have," Celeste says gently.
Scarlett doesn't answer right away. When she does, her voice is quieter than before. "I didn't tell him to."
"No one said you did," Celeste replies.
Violet shifts closer. I can feel her near my head, her presence familiar even through the fog. "He wouldn't have listened anyway."
"That's the problem," Scarlett says. "He never listens when it matters."
"That's not fair," Violet says, a little sharper.
Scarlett huffs. "It's accurate."
"He listens," Violet insists. "Just not to himself."
Another silence. This one feels more charged.
Celeste breaks it carefully. "You both care about him. You just show it differently."
Scarlett lets out a dry breath. "I show it by making sure he doesn't get killed."
"And I show it by making sure he doesn't do it to himself," Violet says.
There's a faint sound, maybe Violet adjusting something near my shoulder. I feel the pressure ease slightly.
"He's freezing," Violet adds.
Celeste nods, though I can't see it. "I know. I've got him."
Scarlett mutters something under her breath. I can't quite catch it.
"What was that?" Violet asks.
"Nothing."
"Scarlett."
A pause. Then, quieter, almost reluctant, Scarlett says, "He scared me."
The words hang there.
I don't think she meant to say them out loud.
Violet doesn't respond right away. When she does, it's gentle. "Me too."
Celeste stays quiet, letting the moment exist.
"I've seen people push themselves before," Scarlett continues, voice low. "I've done it. But that was… different. He wasn't trying to win. He was just… refusing to fall."
I feel Celeste's hand tighten slightly, just for a second.
"That kind of thing catches up to you," Celeste says. "It always does."
Scarlett exhales. "I know."
Another shift. Someone stands, then sits again. Maybe Scarlett pacing and stopping herself.
"We need to move once he wakes," Scarlett says, more firmly now, back in command mode. "This place isn't safe."
"He's not waking anytime soon," Violet says.
Scarlett grimaces. "How do you know?"
"Because he's still trying to hold himself together," Violet replies. "Even now."
Celeste nods. "His body hasn't let go yet. He doesn't trust it to."
"That's insane," Scarlett says.
"That's him," Violet answers.
Silence again.
"What's the plan?" Scarlett asks.
Celeste answers without hesitation. "We rest. We keep him warm. We let him breathe. Then, when he wakes, we don't let him pretend nothing happened."
Scarlett snorts softly. "Good luck with that."
Violet smiles, I think. I can hear it in her voice. "We'll manage."
Scarlett glances at me, I can feel it somehow. "He better not wake up and act like this was nothing."
Celeste's voice softens. "He will."
"Yeah," Scarlett says. "That's what I'm afraid of."
I drift further, then pull back again as Violet speaks.
"Do you think he knows?" she asks.
"Knows what?" Scarlett replies.
"How close it was."
Scarlett doesn't answer immediately. When she does, it's honest. "No. And I don't think he wants to."
Celeste hums quietly. "That's alright. He doesn't need to carry it all at once."
Another pause.
"We'll have to train," Violet says, almost to herself.
Scarlett nods. "Yeah."
Celeste doesn't object. She just says, "When he's ready."
Scarlett smirks faintly. "He's never ready."
"That doesn't mean he won't try," Violet replies.
I feel a hand brush my hair back from my forehead. Gentle. Familiar.
"Sleep," Celeste murmurs, not realizing I can hear her. "You did enough."
The voices fade again, blending into the background hum of the world. I don't wake.
But I stay.