To Exist is a Blessing
But to Angel, To Exist is a debt.
It is because she was born, turned into a beautiful young woman, that she needed to give back—that nothing is earned for free.
Staring at her father in front of her, eating his fried chicken, then down at her own food… her ala king, already finished.
Angel couldn't help but purse her lips.
Just how much debt, is actually debt?
Whenever she would fight with her parents, she'd always hear the words "Utang na loob," so much so that she has grown numb to that concept.
The idea that you should give back to your family because it is your obligation—it is something familiar and foreign to her.
First and foremost, the only times she heard those words were when she was being nothing but a disappointment to her family.
It was never used in a positive light.
In the first place, debt is already negative, isn't it?
It meant that you are short on something.
If it's love… wouldn't it not be a debt at all?
To give is to love, not because of some debt.
No matter how much you frame it, Angel wouldn't be able to understand it. Why would you give back to the hand that hurts you just as it feeds you?
When a dog is capable enough, and if there is an opportunity, it would gladly flee to the wilderness—it's better to die from a wild animal than a confusing owner.
As her blue eyes looked at her father, they couldn't help but glisten.
Her mouth opened, wanting to say—
「Pa, do you and Ma hate me?」
But it closed just as fast as it opened.
After all, that was in the past.
The wounds and scars on her body that could not be seen are just that… wounds.
If she cried and licked them pathetically, she'd just get hated even more. If she cried, she'd be too OA.
So things like this… it's better to keep them to herself.
Once her father was finished eating, they both stood up and left Mcdo.
Naturally, as they left and walked, many people continued with their rumors, and Angel would glare right back at them.
As Angel stared up ahead, her father seemingly stopped walking, looked at her, then continued walking.
"???"
Angel tilted her head.
Was he about to say something? Weird.
The walking continued, and the silence as well.
Between the two of them, there isn't much to talk about. Angel was now a young woman, so it would be weird to ask her father which pose looks cuter or what hairstyle would fit her…
And boy stuff? Like games and stuff? Her father doesn't play videogames… he does play basketball, but Angel doesn't… so in short… they both can't relate to one another.
Back when she was a child, her father would indeed play with her. But when she reached her teenage years, her relationship with her father got stale…
And as much as she wanted to grow closer to him, she felt it wasn't the right time…
So she would leave it to time.
Wounds take time to heal,
Much more so relationships.
And Angel feels like this isn't something to be forced.
So, she put her hands behind her back and walked alongside her father.
Home is just up ahead, a few more steps and she's back home.
A week until her birth certificate and grades come… she can't wait!