A week had passed since that night. The waves still came and went. The sun still rose and fell. And Lucas still found himself standing at the same window, staring at the same sea, thinking about the same person.
He had not made a decision yet.
Every morning he woke up and told himself today would be the day.
Today, he would pack his things and go back to La Ber. Today, he would face whatever waited for him there.
But every morning he found another reason to stay. One more cup of tea with Mara. One more walk along the beach. One more conversation with Rohan that made him feel less alone.
It was cowardice, and he knew it.
He was sitting on the porch of the cabin, his feet dangling off the edge, watching the sky turn from pale blue to soft orange.
The air was cool and carried the salt smell of the sea. A few birds wheeled overhead, their calls sharp and distant.
Rohan came out a few minutes later, two cups of coffee in his hands. He handed one to Lucas without a word and sat down beside him.
They drank in silence for a while. The birds kept circling. The waves kept their rhythm.
"You are still thinking about him," Rohan said finally. It was not a question.
Lucas nodded. "I cannot stop."
"That is the curse of the bond. It does not let you forget." Rohan took a sip of his coffee. "But you are not just thinking about him because of the bond. You are thinking about him because you actually fell for him."
Lucas wanted to deny it.
He opened his mouth to say something sharp and defensive. But the words would not come. Because Rohan was right.
He did love Sebastian. Even after everything. Even after the proposal. Even after the months of being a secret. Even after Beatrice had stood on his doorstep and called him every name she could think of.
He still loved him. It was pathetic. It was foolish. It was the kind of love that made you look stupid in front of everyone who knew the truth.
"I keep thinking about what would have happened if I stayed," Lucas said quietly. "If I had just swallowed my pride and accepted his suggestion."
Rohan turned to look at him. "What suggestion?"
Lucas let out a bitter laugh.
"He asked me to stay. After the proposal. He came to my cabin the next day and said he still wanted me in his life. That Beatrice would understand. That we could make it work."
He shook his head. "He wanted me to be the third wheel. The dirty secret. The person he could run to when his marriage got boring."
Rohan's face hardened. "That sounds…how do kids call that nowadays?"
"Toxic?" Lucas answered, showing a small smile towards Rohan. "I know. But I almost said yes." Lucas stared at his coffee, watching the steam curl upward.
"I stood there, at the motel, looking at his face, and I almost said yes. Because the thought of not having him at all was worse than having him in pieces."
Rohan was quiet for a long moment. Then he said,
"You would have destroyed yourself."
"Probably."
"Not probably. Definitely." Rohan set down his cup.
"You would have spent years watching him build a life with someone else. You would have been the one he called when she was angry at him. The one he came to when he needed comfort. And you would have given it to him every time, because that is who you are. And in the end, you would have nothing left of yourself."
Lucas looked down at his hands. They were trembling slightly. He did not know why. The coffee was warm. The air was mild. But his hands were trembling.
"I think about Beatrice sometimes," Lucas said.
"I think about the night she came to my door. I had just found out about the proposal. I was still in shock. And she showed up, screaming. Called me a homewrecker. Said I had trapped Sebastian with some kind of magic. Said I was desperate and pathetic and that no one would ever love me the way Sebastian loved her."
Rohan's jaw tightened. "And what did you say?"
Lucas laughed again, but there was no humor in it.
"Nothing. I stood there and took it. I let her say everything she wanted to say. And then I closed the door and sat on the floor and cried for three hours."
"Lucas."
"I keep thinking about what would have happened if I had answered her. If I had opened that door and told her the truth. That I did not ask for this. That I did not trap anyone. That I was just as much a victim of the bond that no one wants."
He shook his head.
"But I did not. I just let her yell. Because some part of me thought she was right. That I was pathetic. That I was desperate. That I had somehow forced Sebastian to be with me, even though I knew it was the bond that brought us together. The bond I never wanted in the first place."
Rohan reached over and placed a hand on Lucas's shoulder. His grip was firm, grounding.
"You did not trap anyone. You did not force anything. The bond chose you, just as it chose him. What he did with that choice is his responsibility, not yours."
Lucas nodded. He knew that, logically. But knowing and believing were two different things.
"I could have fought for him," Lucas whispered.
"I could have gone to Beatrice and explained everything. I could have told Sebastian that I was tired of being a secret. I could have demanded that he choose, really choose, instead of trying to have both of us."
"Why did not you?"
Lucas was quiet for a long time. The birds circled. The waves rolled in. The sky turned a deeper shade of orange, bleeding into purple at the edges.
"Because I was afraid," he finally said.
"I was afraid that if I made him choose, he would pick her. And I was right. He already picked her. He got down on one knee in front of everyone and picked her."
"But he came to you the next day."
Lucas nodded. "He came to me the next day and asked me to stay. Asked me to be his secret. Asked me to watch him build a life with someone else and be grateful for the scraps he threw my way."
Rohan's hand tightened on his shoulder. "And that is why you left."
"Yes." Lucas looked up at the sky.
"I left because I realized that staying would have killed me. Slowly. Quietly. But it would have killed me just the same."
They sat in silence for a while longer. The coffee grew cold in their hands. The sky darkened into night.
"I still love him," Lucas said finally. "I hate that I still love him. I hate that I wake up every morning and hope he is thinking about me. I hate that I would probably still say yes if he showed up right now and asked me to be his doormat all over again. Be the way it was, like some trophy wife."
Rohan nodded slowly. "That is not weakness, Lucas. That is grief. You are grieving the future you thought you would have. And grief takes time."
Rohan stood up. He stretched his arms above his head, then looked down at Lucas with something like pity, but not the cruel kind. The kind that came from understanding.
"You do not have to decide tonight," Rohan said. "Or tomorrow. Or next week. You can sit here and watch the sea until you figure out what you want. That is allowed. That is what this place is for."
Lucas looked up at him. "But what if I never get to the decision whether to stay here or go back?"
Rohan smiled, small and tired. "Then you will have spent your whole life by the sea. And I don't think that is the worst way to live."
He walked back inside, leaving Lucas alone on the porch with his cold coffee and his tangled thoughts.
Lucas stayed there for a long time, watching the stars appear one by one. He thought about Sebastian. He thought about Beatrice.
He thought about what could have been if he had fought harder, spoken up sooner, or demanded better.
But mostly he thought about himself. The person he had been before all of this. The person he wanted to become.
He did not have an answer yet. But for the first time in a long time, he was not afraid of the question.
He stared back at the quiet sea, birds chirping along the coastline, while the children played along the safe shore. For now, he would stay. Not because he was looking for an answer to whatever question he had in his heart.
But he would stay because of the sea and the people that gave him comfort when he needed it the most.