I'm Not A Master, I'm A Director
Chapter 427: These Days, Tsunderes Are All Doomed to Lose
Archer's shameless habit of leaving things unsaid had successfully dragged Shinji into deep thought.
All signs pointed to one thing—
No, scratch that. He didn't even need evidence.
Just thinking about it for a second, it was obvious that Shinji Matou's ending in any timeline where mystery hadn't declined… was probably not a good one.
With that kind of personality, surviving at all would already be a miracle.
And yet, people were contradictory creatures.
Even though Shinji had already expected as much, Archer's half-finished sentence still left him feeling… oddly uncomfortable.
"It feels like hearing about the death of a twin brother I've never met," Shinji said slowly. "It's weird… like I was supposed to attend a funeral banquet but missed it. I feel kinda bad about that—but then I hear you have to give gift money, and as a broke guy, I suddenly feel relieved."
"…What kind of bizarre analogy is that?"
Archer's lips twitched.
He was starting to think Shinji's ability to spout nonsense was truly world-class.
Still, seeing that Shinji had no intention of digging deeper into the topic, Archer visibly relaxed.
"…You're a strange one," he muttered. "In every possible way."
"Hey, if we're talking strange—" Shinji jerked his thumb behind him, "—that red-ribbon white-haired girl and her people are way stranger than I am."
"Shinji Matou! You're clearly picking a fight on purpose!"
The so-called "red-ribbon white-haired girl," Olga Marie Animusphere, immediately exploded.
'That presence… she feels a bit like Rin.'
Archer glanced toward the composed woman in a butler outfit standing behind the girl. Even though he didn't know her, he felt a strange sense of camaraderie—after all, the people they served were both… far from easy to deal with.
Trisha Fellows returned a look of helpless resignation.
As Olga Marie's magecraft tutor and attendant, she was already used to her young mistress's hair-trigger tempe, —especially when the one lighting the fuse was Shinji Matou.
Still, she could guarantee that her mistress held no ill intent.
After all, no matter how you looked at it, Shinji Matou was the benefactor who had helped secure Olga Marie's position as the Lord of the Department of Astromancy.
Repaying kindness with hostility simply wasn't in her nature.
But…
"Yo, Idiotrie. Still as cute as ever~"
Olga Marie instantly bristled.
"You bastard, Matou! Don't call me idiot!"
Trisha let out a long, weary sigh.
That's right, her mistress had no ill intent.
But Shinji Matou, on the other hand, had his own twisted sense of humor.
Back when the previous head of the family had just passed away, Shinji had leveraged Lord El-Melloi's authority to ensure that Olga Marie inherited the position of Lord of the Department of Astromancy.
The incident had caused quite a stir within the Clock Tower.
Many people speculated that this notorious playboy was planning to extend his reach to the Animusphere family.
And honestly, those guesses weren't entirely unreasonable.
At the time, Olga Marie had only been ten years old—young enough that any questionable intentions would've been outright criminal.
But with Shinji's silver tongue, winning over a little girl would've been effortless.
All he had to do was secure an engagement first—after that, everything else could be arranged.
In magi families, engagements among minors were nothing unusual. Everyone knew that when it came to betrothals, sooner was better than later.
If the other family declined, there was always the option to break it off.
But if they suddenly rose to prominence—well, then you'd have missed your chance.
Even Olga Marie herself had thought along those lines back then. She had even gone directly to Shinji to confront him about it.
From her perspective, if Shinji could guarantee the honor and status of the Animusphere family, then becoming his fiancée wasn't such a bad deal.
After all, among the Clock Tower's female magi, the number who wanted to bear Shinji's child could stretch from the Tower all the way into central London.
If she secured an engagement, the Animusphere family would at least have the advantage of proximity.
And yet, what she got in return was Shinji bursting into laughter.
"You're overthinking it. I have absolutely zero interest in little girls like you~ Tsundere girls? I'm already sick of that trope. Compared to her, the only thing you've got going for you is that rare 'red ribbon' trait~"
"…What did you just say?!"
"Anyway, don't feel too burdened, and don't go thinking about repaying me with your body or anything. The only reason I helped is because I can't imagine the Department of Astromancy without the Animusphere family. That's all, my dear Idiotrie~"
Every time she recalled how decisively Shinji had rejected her back then, Olga Marie felt like her lungs were about to explode.
The infamous playboy of the Clock Tower had dismissed her outright—
Didn't that basically mean she had zero feminine charm?!
From Trisha Fellows's perspective, Shinji's words back then were probably nothing more than a bit of his usual bad taste—teasing a young girl for amusement.
Unfortunately, her young mistress had taken it completely to heart.
"…Milady…"
Trisha glanced toward Shinji, silently hoping he would act like a gentleman for once and back down.
Shinji, however, calmly returned her gaze with a "Don't worry, I've got this" look before continuing:
"Marie, you're still this much of a tsundere? That won't do. You've got no unique appeal at all. How about this—I'll introduce you to my childhood friend, Tohsaka Rin. Once you see her, you'll realize just how overlapping your character settings are. Aside from your hair and stocking colors, you're basically identical."
Shinji's blunt statement made Olga Marie's expression gradually freeze.
Why would she go meet his childhood friend?
It's not like she was some mistress going to meet the original wife—
W-Wait, no!
That kind of thought shouldn't even exist!
Baring her teeth, Olga Marie sized Shinji up from head to toe, clearly considering which part of him would be best to bite into—just to make it clear that the head of the Animusphere family would not tolerate being teased—No, provoked like this!
"This is just escalating things…"
Realizing Shinji was completely unreliable, Trisha turned to Archer, hoping for some outside assistance. She was genuinely worried her mistress might end up at a disadvantage.
Archer's gaze drifted off to the side for a moment before he gave a helpless shrug.
Handle Shinji?
If he could handle Shinji, he'd have gone back to the Throne of Heroes to work for that person already—why would he still be here doing odd jobs on a film set?
"Marie," Shinji continued, "I think you should try a new approach. Open up a new lane. These days, tsunderes are part of the 'losing heroine' group—there's no future in it. You should go for the gentle type, like my little sister."
Olga Marie's face darkened.
With her hands on her hips, she muttered in a resentful tone:
"…Isn't this the same Mr. Matou who said he had absolutely no interest in me back then? If you're not interested, then why are you pointing fingers at me now?"
As she spoke, she leaned back slightly and shot Trisha a smiling glance.
"I'm right, aren't I, Trisha?"
Trisha nodded slowly, yet spoke with utmost seriousness:
"Mr. Matou, Milady simply wishes to reminisce with you in a pleasant manner. There's no need for such hostility."
Strictly speaking, it wasn't her place to say this.
But if she didn't step in now, her mistress would probably resort to violence.
"I'm not being hostile at all," Shinji replied with a completely serious expression. "I just feel like there are too many tsundere-type girls around me. I want to see something different—it's better for the eyes."
Trisha: "..."
Could he explain how that wasn't being hostile?
She had only come to Japan for a guest appearance in a movie and a bit of sightseeing, so how had things ended up spiraling into such an unmanageable situation?
'…Should I ask Mr. Waver for some headache medicine recommendations?'
Trisha rubbed her head gloomily.
"Shinji, that's enough."
Archer, inheriting Kiritsugu's belief that "making a girl cry invites divine punishment," forced himself to step into this meaningless dispute.
"I don't know why you're messing with her, but have you considered what Rin would do if she found out you're using her as a comparison?"
Shinji stroked his chin and thought for a moment.
"…I think Marie would probably go learn from Rin," he said. "I mean, she's already suffered so many losses against me."
So you ARE self-aware?! ×2
Archer and Trisha roared internally.
Meanwhile, Director Shinji maintained his usual smile.
After all, what bad intentions could Shinji Matou possibly have?
All he wanted, really, was to enjoy the sight of the Director—Miss Olga Marie—getting flustered and jumping in frustration, yet completely unable to do anything about him.
'Alright, that's about enough.'
Though part of him wanted to see even more of her cute reactions, Shinji knew that if he pushed any further, things would truly spiral out of control.
When dealing with tsundere-type girls, you absolutely must not cross their bottom line. Otherwise, tsundere turns into yandere—and that's when your life is in actual danger.
Granted, Shinji himself had a bad habit of stepping just one toe over that line and getting beaten up for it.
"Marie, how's your preparation for the acting?"
"No problem at all."
Olga Marie puffed out her chest confidently.
"That level of performance? I can handle it easily."
"Good to hear." Shinji shrugged. "Oh right, about that other thing I asked you to do…"
"The other thing?" Olga Marie blinked, then suddenly realized. "You mean creating that pseudo-Earth environment model—Chaldeas?"
"Exactly!"
"But that's just a movie prop, isn't it?" she said, frowning slightly. "Even if it uses Astromancy, the real thing described in the script is impossible to reproduce. What I made is just a superficial imitation."
With her knowledge of magecraft, Olga Marie instinctively concluded that Shinji was being unrealistic—basically joking around.
But Shinji gave an answer she hadn't expected.
"Even a knockoff can still observe something. I just don't want us halfway through filming when something weird actually happens."
"…The destruction of humanity is just part of the script, though?"
"Sure, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Besides—"
Shinji pointed at her.
"That thing can simulate and calculate the extent of humanity's destruction under preset conditions, right? In a way, it helps make the script more realistic."
"More… reasonable?"
"Exactly!" Shinji nodded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Just think of it as giving the script a buff."
"…A buff?"
Miss Marie, who had never touched a modern video game in her life, had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.