Roland woke up with a scream, swinging empty hands through the air.
Except, even though they were empty...
*sching*
A clean cut.
The wardrobe at the foot of his bed split apart, severed with a glassy seam, despite him not wielding any blade or weapon.
Roland froze, watching the wardrobe and his uniforms slowly slide apart, collapsing onto the ground. "Was... Was it just a nightmare?"
It was too realistic. Too vivid.
Roland could still smell Marisa's blood on his body. Feel her warm blood on his skin. Hear her final gasp.
He could still feel the surge of anguish, terror, wrath and betrayal when he saw Alex not only ignore everything, but kill Evelyn.
And then he remembered drawing his blade to swing on his friend, thinking about nothing but to end the hell that his life had become.
But...
"...It had to be. Right?" Roland ran his hand through his hair and then quickly got out of bed to look outside.
Darkness. Just like the night of the Winter Solstice Ball. But no snow. No flames. No ballroom shattered by a Gate that Professor Endless opened in desperation.
Roland let out a helpless laugh and placed his hands on his face, feeling the relieved tears dripping from his eyes. "A nightmare. That's all it was. A nightmare."
The despair. The chaos. The tragedy.
All of it never happened.
"...Right?" Roland lowered his shaky hands. "...This... isn't the dream, right?" He quickly went to grab his phone to check the time and date.
3:00 AM, December 7th. Two weeks before the Winter Solstice Ball.
When Roland saw that, he froze. "...No."
It would have been one thing if it was the night prior or the day of.
But two weeks?
"...It wasn't a nightmare."
Roland was sure of it.
He didn't know how or why. But he knew for sure.
What he had seen wasn't just a nightmare.
Because he remembered it. The two weeks leading up to the Winter Solstice Ball.
Training with Alex. Him and Marisa both being concerned that Alex and Evelyn were preparing for something dreadful. The Winter Solstice Ball itself, playing out with multiple parties treating it like a stage. And then-
Roland felt bile rise in his throat as he remembered what happened. He quickly ran to the bathroom and bent over the toilet, barely making it as vomit surged through his throat.
Blood. Gore. Losing everything. Wishing- No, DEMANDING the power to cleave this cruel fate in half...
Roland kept retching and gagging. But eventually, his nausea stopped. With shaky hands, he stood up and washed himself up, staring at his reflection.
Limp and sweat-matted crimson hair. Dull blue eyes. Dark circles under them.
He looked like a mess. He WAS a mess. But...
"I... need to check."
Roland murmured and slowly pulled out his phone.
He thought about calling Alex first. But before then, he saw Marisa's contact. The last person he had talked to on this day.
Roland didn't remember why or what. It must have been something trivial.
But...
He remembered it.
Being too slow to stop Isaac.
Marisa reaching out for Roland, her emerald eyes pleading for him to save her.
Himself, being too slow. Then being distracted by Alex and missing the timing to heal Marisa.
Roland felt the bile well up again. But he swallowed it down and hit call.
One ring.
Two.
For a moment, Roland thought that maybe this reality was the dream. That it was his mind rejecting the harsh truth that he had failed. That Alex had failed. That everything had turned into a tragedy.
And then a sleepy and soft female voice echoed. One that calmed his panicked heart and nauseous body.
"...Rolo...? What are you doing calling this late?"
Marisa's sleepy voice echoed on the other line.
Roland slid down against the bathroom wall and let out a relieved laugh.
Marisa grumbled. "What's so funny...?"
"Nothing. Just..." Roland covered his face with his left hand, holding his phone tight to his ear with his right.
Desperate. No, terrified.
How many times did he take her words lightly? How many times did he think she would always be there? How many times did he assume since she was stronger than him that he didn't deserve her? That it was better as just friends?
"...I wanted to hear your voice." Roland quietly finished.
Marisa was quiet. Then there was the sound of rustling sheets as her voice echoed. "Roland? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Really, it's-"
"It's not nothing. I can hear it. You're shaking."
Roland blinked and then realized that he was. His body was trembling. If not for the deathgrip he had on his phone and pressing it tight against his ear, he would have dropped it.
"...I..." Roland swallowed, closing his eyes.
He could still see it. The desperate look Marisa had as she reached out to him.
"...Can I see you?"
"I'm coming. Stay there."
"...Stay on the line, Mari?" Roland whispered. "Please?"
"I will. Don't hang up."
Roland staggered to his feet and made his way over to the door of his room.
On the other line, the sound of rushing wind, slamming doors, and girls yelping echoed.
But before long, there was a knock on Roland's door.
He dropped his phone and opened it.
Then there she was.
Marisa, wearing nothing but a thin white negligee.
It was improper.
But Roland didn't notice. Instead, he pulled her into a tight hug.
Marisa flinched, confused. But then she relaxed and hugged him back. "...Nightmare?"
"...Something like that." Roland murmured, resting his head against Marisa's shoulder. "...Stay the night?"
Marisa teased, "Finally taking the initiative, Rolo?"
Roland laughed, feeling his heart finally calm down. "...Just realizing how good I have it." Still holding her tight, he gently shut the door behind Marisa and then walked her to his bed, laying down with her.
"R-Rolo, this is-!"
Whatever she said next, Roland didn't hear.
The moment he was laying down and held her close, feeling her body still breathing, still whole... he fell asleep.
===
Marisa stared at Roland's exhausted sleeping expression and then tucked a strand of his crimson hair behind his ear. "Honestly... what got into you?"
It wasn't like him.
Roland was optimistic. Light-hearted and heroic. Even in the face of terrible odds, he stood upright and stalwart.
...So what did he see that made him cling to her like she was going to vanish like bubbles on the wind?
Marisa sighed and leaned her head on Roland's arm, staring at his face. "...It's not fair. I've been pining for you all this time, then in one night you completely change." She reached out and placed her hand on his cheek, caressing it. "...I love you, you know? I choose you. But it shouldn't be like this."
She wanted him to love her, yes. She wanted to be his. But she wanted him to choose her out of joy, happiness.
She didn't want this terrified love. She didn't want him to love her because he was afraid to lose her.
"...Is this because of Alex?" Marisa murmured, gently caressing Roland's cheek to help him relax. "And Eve? Did you learn something about them that made you think you'd lose me too?"
Marisa didn't know. She wished she could. "Roland..." Marisa murmured and then rested her head against his. "...Sleep. You had better believe we're talking about this in the morning. But for now... sleep well, m-my love. Ugh, how does Eve say it so smoothly?" Marisa grumbled, but then she let out a soft smile. Sighing, she closed her eyes and rested against Roland, slowly drifting off to sleep as well.
But as she did, she saw it. No, she experienced it.
Weeks of preparation. The Winter Solstice Ball. Flushing out the rats.
But then...
A blinding pain across her chest. Her vision fading to black as cold crept in. Reaching out to Roland and seeing his anguished and terrified expression. Hearing his scream as well as Alex's words to Evelyn.
"...Oh." Marisa murmured, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Oh. I understand now, Roland." She held Roland tight, fearing that this reality was a dream and the nightmare was the truth. "...Please be real. Please, let this be real."