"We still have time till Dom gets here, right, my princess?" I asked, and Leo looked at me as I sighed. "There were so many more, so many details you forgot, my princess."
I looked at Leo, and I gulped.
Is that really what you always thought of me?
It breaks my heart, princess.
It shatters it into pieces.
"Well, where should I start?"
"Nowhere," Leo said, and I smiled.
Well, I remember walking into the second week of classes.
I just came back from studying abroad or visiting family. I don't remember what I told them, but I had registered for all my classes abroad, and one of them was Mandarin.
Anyway, I was going to be more fluent than the professor, because you never would have guessed where I just was…China! Yay!
I knew it was going to be an easy class; the plan was to come just enough for the attendance check on the syllabus and just sleep.
That was until I saw him.
"Dramatic ass."
"Hey, you had your time to tell your part of the story; it is my time now," I said, and Leo rolled his eyes.
Not even trying to be dramatic, but my world stood still.
He was the only person in his row, and he immediately caught my eye.
He was quiet, an anxious-looking guy, really.
He was writing crazy long notes before the class even started, and I found it strangely funny and captivating.
And that spark he had in his eyes drew me to him.
This stubborn determination kept him pushing through, even when it seemed he barely understood a word the teacher was saying.
It was cute.
He was cute
But the rest of the class was so fucking boring, I don't remember any of it. So boring in fact that I had developed this bad habit of scanning the room and making eye contact with random people.
But my gaze would always come back to Leo.
There was something so vulnerable.
So refreshingly open about him.
I was so used to people always trying to be someone they are not, but he was different.
He was raw and real.
"And shit, I wanted it raw and real, too."
"That's disgusting," Leo said.
"Hey, I got what I wanted in the end, didn't I?" I asked, laughing, and Leo rolled his eyes.
I knew I shouldn't mess with him.
I really shouldn't.
He was Dom's right-hand man.
And I should have just left him alone.
But when the professor assigned us as study partners, I knew it was too late.
I could get to know him.
I could make him mine.
I saw the way he looked at me, curious but wary.
I would watch a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks when I introduced myself in Mandarin.
He looked intimidated, and I was so into it.
I knew I could push it.
Push him to the limits.
And as we walked out of the classroom together, I couldn't help but stare at his ass as I held the door open for him.
I was so excited, so fucking excited for the rest of this semester, knowing I would get to see him again, week after week, and push his buttons just enough to see how far he'd let me go.
When we met in the library, he looked nervous as hell.
His eyes darted around as if afraid someone would call him out for needing help.
But I could tell he was trying to hide his eagerness to learn.
And god, I thought that was so fucking adorable.
That little spark he had.
It was.
It was perfect.
He was perfect.
I don't think I have ever met someone so fucking perfect.
I started with the basics, going through the tones and the simplest sentence structures, and he hung onto every word, even when he stumbled over them.
His pronunciation wasn't perfect, but I tried my best to guide him through everything.
I would stare at him as much as I could.
And every time our eyes met, there was this flicker.
Something unspoken.
Some may even call it love.
I called it love.
I would brush my hand against his.
I watched as he stiffened slightly and his face turned red, but he didn't pull away.
I leaned in a little closer, watching him lose his train of thought as I corrected him softly.
I knew I was getting under his skin, and I loved it.
I loved seeing how far I could push him before he pulled back.
But it was more than just a game.
"Leo…gave me a reason to live that I haven't felt in such a long time."
For so long, I'd felt like I was just moving through life, detached, going through the motions of a mafia boss, living life as I could.
But when he looked at me, he was confused, curious, and flustered.
Something inside me stirred.
It wasn't just about pushing boundaries or seeing his reactions anymore.
It was the way he looked at me, like he trusted me, like I was just another guy teaching him a language he barely knew.
There was a certain vulnerability in him…a rawness that I wanted, that I needed to protect even if it wasn't what he wanted from me.
But for now, for forever, I would settle for this game of cat and mouse, seeing just how close I could get without scaring him off for good.
The thrill of each session.
The touches.
The glances.
Everything.
Every time, it felt like I was pushing us closer to something inevitable.
I wanted more.
I craved more.
Even as I held myself back, not wanting to ruin the trust we had slowly built up with each session, I found myself not just showing up as his tutor but as something more.
I'd catch myself drawn to his shy smiles and the way his eyebrows furrowed when he struggled.
His hesitant little laughs when he would get something wrong.
His small victories.
Even his failures.
It all made me want him more.
And I found myself looking forward to each session. Truthfully, they were the only moments of joy I had each week, and I clung to them as if my life depended on it.
Even if he was reserved and awkward, there was still this warmth to him, something so endearing it pulled me in without any effort on his part.
He would just sit there and look at me, and I would fall like an idiot.
But…I knew he didn't see me as anything other than his tutor.
I was just the older guy showing him the ropes of Mandarin.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
Part of me wanted him to make the first move, to see him cross that line on his own.
But I was starting to realize that I might need to nudge him there, not too much, but enough to let him know I wanted more, even if I couldn't put it all into words yet.
When I also saw him outside our tutoring sessions and class, it brought me joy; he brought me joy.
Well, that was until I saw Dominic.
I mean, I had to hate him because we were rivals and it was my life goal to beat him, but I started to hate him for other reasons.
God, the jealousy that I felt was beyond words.
It was like a knot in my stomach that wouldn't go away.
Seeing how Leo clung to Dom as if they were inseparable.
It didn't matter if it was just a friendship.
I hated how much attention Leo gave Dom.
I hated how he seemed to bring out sides of Leo I didn't get to see.
"You're jealous of my dad?" Isabella asked. I slowly blinked.
Leo started laughing. "I didn't know that; that's actually really funny."
Oh, what I would give to see you laugh every day.
"Actually, your dad was jealous of me," I said, pointing at myself.
"Yeah, right. I thought you guys were rivals and you hated him because of that," Leo said.
I interjected. "I do hate him because of that."
"But you also hate him because you are jealous," Leo said.
"Whatever," I said, brushing them off as Leo continued to laugh.
The way Leo looked at Dom.
The comfort he had with him.
What I would give for that.
It made me wonder whether I would ever get that close to him, or if this would remain a game of stolen glances, a game that stomped my fucking heart out.
Dominic made me question everything.
Made me doubt my chances were even real.
Yet I couldn't stay away from Leo.
Every time we were together, I wanted more.
But I had this awful gut feeling that Dominic was a part of Leo that I could never quite reach.
It made me so fucking angry.
And I think that's when I started to lose my mind and go haywire.
I wanted what Dominic had.
I wanted to be him.
I wanted to be the most powerful mafia boss in the country.
I wanted a daughter.
I wanted…Leo.
The more I thought about it, the more it consumed me.
Leo was slipping away from me before I could even call him mine.
His loyalty.
His connection was tied to someone else, someone I couldn't stand, someone I was destined to be enemies with.
So I decided that I had to do something drastic, something to pull him closer to me, closer to me than he was with Dominic.
"You do know that Dom is straight, right?" Leo asked.
I looked at him. "He is?"
"Yeah, well, back then he was. Now I don't know, but we were never a thing."
"You weren't?!" I asked, taken aback.
Leo nodded.
What the fuck?
Anyway, I would need to show him sides of me that nobody else saw, give him experiences that would leave him thinking about me constantly, and leave him questioning his bond with Dom.
And then it came.
One evening, during what was supposed to be just another study session, I decided to change things up.
I don't know if it was the frustration, the jealousy, or just my sheer need to see him respond; either way, I suggested trying a new teaching approach.
And god, the way he looked at me, he made it clear he was already in too deep to say no.
I watched as he hesitated, then nodded, trusting me in that fake, naive way he always had, not realizing where I was about to lead him.
But I know he knew; there was not a single thing he didn't know.
The power. The control. It was truly intoxicating.
I was finally getting closer to Leo in ways Dom couldn't, giving him experiences he would never forget.
From that night on, I started introducing Leo to things he'd never encountered before, slowly bringing BDSM elements into our time together.
I framed it like a new lesson, a way to deepen trust and understanding.
I wanted him to let go and to trust me completely, and he did, leaning into the thrill of it all, almost hypnotized by the way I led him.
Then I started calling him…princess, my princess.
Watching the way his gaze shifted whenever I said it.
How his eyes grew darker, a mixture of confusion and excitement.
I loved the nickname.
I loved him.
He was the only one I called that, the only one I would ever call that.
And for the first time, I had him exactly where I wanted him, focused solely on me, and I was focused solely on him.
He was the center of my world, my fucking god, and while he seemed intrigued and comfortable following my every command, a part of me wondered. Did he feel the same intensity I felt for him? Was he drawn to me as deeply as I was to him, or was he just going along for the ride?
Every touch.
Every word.
It felt like a test, like a way to see how far I could push him.
And every time he responded, every time he let me lead him deeper, it fed that need I had, that hunger to finally be more to him.
I needed Leo to see me and recognize that there was something deeper between us, something he couldn't get from anyone else.
It was all a way to draw him closer to me, to make him mine.
I took the lead naturally, confidently, and in a controlled manner, feeling adoration that sometimes left me almost vulnerable.
I kept waiting for a moment when he would look at me and realize that it was more than just a game.
And like a fool, I thought there were times in those intimate moments when he could feel it too.
When I could see it in his eyes, a hint that maybe he needed me as much as I needed him.
One evening when the room was quiet, I thought maybe I could finally say it and make him see how much he meant to me.
I reached out to gently touch his face.
"I really care about you, Leo. I confessed, my voice was barely above a whisper." I looked at Leo. "Hoping that he would finally see how much he mattered to me."
"But he laughed, shrugging it off like it was a joke. Yeah right. He muttered."
His smile was awkward and uncertain.
My chest tightened, and I felt the weight of rejection sink in.
He wasn't taking me seriously.
He couldn't even fathom that I might feel something real for him.
And at that moment, I knew I was only setting myself up for failure and heartbreak, and after that, I couldn't keep being vulnerable with him.
I started to pull back, distancing myself.
And every time I wanted to reach out to tell him again how much he meant, the memory of his laughter stopped me.
Why should I risk my heart if he doesn't care?
It hurts too much to see him, knowing he saw me as someone who would eventually move on.
I could never move on.
So I pretended that I didn't feel anything deeper and tried to play along with the role he'd assigned me in his mind.
In the end, the semester ended, and so did we.
I left frustrated and heartbroken, feeling like he never truly saw me for who I was.
All he saw was the surface, the personality I put on for everyone else.
I could never forget him, though.
He has always been the only one I wanted.
The only one I bore my heart for.
"I never wanted it to end this way, but I couldn't be something to him when he couldn't see me fully. And so I walked away, carrying with me all the things I'd left unsaid," I said, smiling.
It hurt when I said it out loud.
It hurts every day, my love.
I could never forget him.
I never wanted it to be this way.
I heard the door busted open and gunshots started to ring out every which way.
I looked over at Leo.
I'm sorry. I am so sorry, my princess.