After being unconscious for God knows how long, I finally woke up.
The moment awareness returned, so did the pain.
My body felt unbearably heavy, weak to the point where even breathing seemed exhausting. My limbs trembled from the slightest movement, while my mind felt strangely sluggish, as though it had been torn apart and poorly stitched back together.
I struggled to sit up.
Failed.
Tried again.
Eventually, after an embarrassing amount of effort, I managed to prop myself against the edge of the bed.
The room around me was unfamiliar.
Dimly lit and strangely quiet, it carried an almost eerie stillness. Pale light filtered faintly through the windows, illuminating dark wooden furniture arranged with deliberate care.
I tried standing.
The moment my feet touched the floor, my knees nearly gave out beneath me.
"Damn…" I muttered weakly.
Walking in this condition was impossible.
Having no other choice, I lowered myself to the ground and began crawling toward the stairs.
Slowly.
Painfully.
Every movement drained what little strength I had left.
By the time I finally reached the staircase, nearly an hour had passed.
Looking up at the seemingly endless steps almost made me give up.
Almost.
Gritting my teeth, I forced myself upward.
One step.
Pause.
Another.
Breathe.
The climb felt endless.
By the time I finally reached the top, my body trembled violently from exhaustion.
I collapsed onto the floor and remained there for a while, breathing raggedly.
Ahead of me stretched a small hallway containing only three rooms.
Two stood opposite one another, while the last sat farther down the corridor.
The room to my left was clearly the one I had come from.
The room on the right, however…
"My head…" I muttered softly.
A strange feeling stirred within me.
An instinct.
No
A certainty.
For some reason, I felt the answers to whatever was happening to me lay inside that room.
Slowly, I dragged myself toward it.
My hand trembled as I reached for the handle.
I twisted.
Nothing.
Locked?
No.
It simply refused to budge.
With a frustrated breath, I forced what little strength remained into my arm.
The door creaked open.
I crawled inside.
The room was larger than the one I had woken up in.
Far larger.
And considerably more elegant.
Dark polished wood lined the room, beautifully carved furniture sat in place, while paintings and shelves decorated the walls with quiet sophistication.
Everything looked expensive.
Refined.
Yet halfway into the room, pain exploded inside my skull.
"AHHHHHH!!"
I collapsed instantly, clutching my head.
"My head—!"
It felt like my brain was being ripped apart.
No.
Crushed.
Burned.
Rewritten.
I rolled violently across the floor as unbearable agony consumed me.
"Ahhhh!! My head!! My head!!"
Then came the memories.
Foreign.
Familiar.
Mine.
Not mine.
Thoughts, emotions, experiences, everything crashed into my consciousness with brutal force.
Human memories.
Shadow memories.
One life.
Then another.
I convulsed uncontrollably, my body shaking violently against the floor.
Strangely, I couldn't pass out.
No matter how desperately my mind sought escape, unconsciousness never came.
I was forced to endure.
Hours passed in unbearable agony.
Pain beyond anything I thought possible.
Pain so absolute it stopped feeling physical.
It felt as though my very existence was being dismantled and rebuilt.
And eventually, It stopped.
The agony slowly faded, leaving behind only silence.
I laid motionless on the floor, staring blankly at the ceiling.
Unable to move.
Unable to think.
Just existing.
Hours passed before my thoughts finally returned.
Slowly, painfully, I managed to speak.
"What the hell is going on?" I muttered, my voice cracked and dry.
I had memories now.
Not just information, memories, experiences, emotions.
Two entire lives existed within me.
My human self.
And my shadow self.
Both complete.
Both undeniably mine.
This wasn't simple inheritance, something deeper had happened, something irreversible.
My entire being felt remade.
My soul
Complete.
The fragmented existence of both races had fused into something whole, bringing me to the pinnacle of what both could become.
Yet confusion still lingered.
My consciousness felt strange.
Contradictory.
One side of me viewed all of this as some impossible paranormal nightmare.
The other had spent an entire lifetime planning for this, preparing for this, and the moment an opportunity appeared, he took it.
Or rather
I took it.
A strange warmth bloomed inside me.
Comforting.
Familiar.
An indescribable joy settled deep within my chest, like reclaiming something precious that had been stolen long ago without ever realizing it was missing.
Eventually, exhaustion won.
Slowly, I resumed crawling until I reached the bed.
Climbing onto it felt far harder than it should have.
The moment my body touched the mattress.
I fell asleep.
~~
~~
~~
I had no idea how long I slept, but when I finally woke up, I felt considerably better.
Not fully recovered, but far from the miserable state I had been in earlier.
The crushing weakness had mostly disappeared, replaced by an unfamiliar sense of vitality. My body felt lighter, my thoughts clearer, and for the first time since waking up in this strange place, exhaustion no longer threatened to drag me unconscious.
Still slightly groggy, I rubbed my eyes and subconsciously walked toward the mirror.
The moment I stood before it, I froze.
"...What?"
The person reflected back at me was unmistakably me.
Yet at the same time, not entirely.
My already decent appearance had undergone changes.
No.
Refinement.
My features looked unnaturally perfect. A sharply sculpted jawline, a perfectly shaped nose, pale skin untouched by imperfection, and jet-black hair framing a face that looked far too refined to belong to an ordinary person. Even my eyes seemed different, dark and strangely deep.
My body had changed as well.
Broader shoulders.
Defined muscles.
Lean, yet perfectly built.
Not overly bulky, but balanced in a way that made it feel carefully crafted rather than naturally developed.
A well-built ectomorph.
"...Did I get taller?"
I narrowed my eyes at my reflection.
Before, I had been around six foot four.
Now?
At least six foot seven.
Maybe more.
For a while, I simply stood there studying myself.
Everything felt strangely unfamiliar.
Human.
Shadow.
Neither description felt entirely accurate anymore.
It was as though every flaw I once had had been removed and replaced with something better.
Refined to perfection.
Honestly
It felt weird.
'Was this still me?'
The thought lingered briefly before I exhaled.
"Haa…"
Then my eyes drifted lower.
A pause, a smirk slowly formed.
"Well... that's certainly an improvement." A quiet chuckle escaped me.
'From an anaconda to a dragon.'
'Hah... life really is unfair.'
Strangely enough, laughing helped.
The absurdity of everything around me became slightly easier to process.
Eventually, my attention shifted toward the room itself.
Now that I could think properly, I finally noticed the effort put into its design.
A king-sized bed occupied the center of the room, while a beautifully carved wardrobe stood neatly at the corner. Elegant paintings decorated the walls, and a finely crafted desk rested nearby.
Everything carried a subtle sense of luxury, nothing flashy, just expensive.
Then my eyes landed on the floor.
"...Ah."
The disgusting mess from earlier.
Sweat, tears, and other unpleasant things left behind from my agonizing episode.
I stared for a moment before sighing.
"I should clean that."
Leaving it there felt genuinely shameful.
Though, considering what I had endured, perhaps I deserved some leniency.
No ordinary human could survive pain like that.
Even shadows would likely die enduring such suffering regardless of cultivation stage, especially since most of it had been directed at the brain.
Still, a mess was a mess.
"And I should probably clean myself too," I muttered, glancing at my naked reflection.
Unfortunately, before leaving, I shamelessly admired myself in the mirror for a moment longer.
Turn.
Flex.
Turn again.
"...Not bad."
"Honestly, very not bad."
Eventually, I cleaned the room before heading toward the bathroom.
The memory of my previous freezing bath made me instinctively brace myself as I slowly lowered into the water.
Then paused.
"...Huh."
It was cold, but manageable.
It no longer carried that unbearable chill from before. Though still considerably cold, it felt strangely tolerable.
Perhaps another side effect of whatever transformation I had undergone.
After finishing my bath, I returned to the room.
Apparently, this room had its own bathroom.
Convenient.
Standing there naked for a moment, my thoughts blanked briefly as I looked around.
Then my eyes landed on the bed.
"...You've got to be kidding me."
The bedsheets were stained.
Apparently, collapsing onto the bed while still filthy had consequences.
Sigh~
Without complaint, I removed the sheets and carried them back for washing.
Might as well clean up after myself.
After finishing, I returned to the room and walked toward the wardrobe.
The moment I opened it, my brows lifted slightly.
"...Fancy."
Rows of clothing filled the interior, ranging from Victorian-inspired outfits to elegant fantasy Asian fashion. Dark fabrics, expensive materials, refined designs, everything screamed wealth.
"Hmm."
After looking through them, I decided to keep things simple.
In the end, I settled on a plain white shirt and a pair of grey trousers.
Comfortable, and clean.
Good enough.
After getting dressed, I exited the room and made my way downstairs.
The house was eerily quiet, the kind of silence that made the place feel far larger than it actually was.
As I stepped into the living room, my eyes immediately landed on a small pile of clothes scattered carelessly on the floor.
I stopped.
"...Seriously?"
For a brief moment, I considered ignoring it and pretending I hadn't seen anything. Unfortunately, I knew exactly who had caused the mess.
With a reluctant sigh, I bent down and cleaned it up.
"Phew."
With nothing particularly pressing to do, boredom quickly began creeping in. Naturally, I decided to take a look around the house.
By human standards, it was a pretty decent place.
A spacious living room, two bedrooms, a study, and a reasonably sized kitchen. Nothing absurdly luxurious, yet everything carried a quiet elegance to it.
The entire house sat alone at the edge of a cliff overlooking the town below. Peaceful. Isolated. And apparently, according to my memories, this entire hill belonged to Outis.
A luxury most shadows could only dream of.
Though truthfully, he hadn't bought it himself.
The house had been gifted to him.
Apparently, Outis had once helped a close friend rise into nobility, and after becoming a noble, that same friend sponsored him generously as repayment.
"...Not bad," I muttered.
Looks like my shadow self had some useful connections.
Eventually, hunger won over curiosity.
I headed into the kitchen and decided to make something simple. Thankfully, cooking wasn't difficult. The memories came naturally enough that I barely had to think.
After preparing a modest meal, I sat quietly and ate.
Simple.
Yet surprisingly delicious.
The peaceful atmosphere felt strange to me.
No danger.
No chaos.
No sudden disaster.
Just silence.
It honestly felt suspicious.
After finishing my meal, I leaned back in thought.
"I should visit town."
Sitting around all day wouldn't get me answers. More importantly, I needed to act normal.
No matter how complete this fusion felt, suddenly behaving differently would only attract suspicion.
With that in mind, I returned upstairs to change.
The grey trousers were swapped for black, and over my white shirt, I wore a long black coat adorned with elegant silver patterns around the sleeves and edges. A fitting pair of black shoes completed the outfit.
Standing before the mirror, I gave myself a quick glance.
"...Damn."
No matter how I looked at it, I genuinely looked unfairly good.
A quiet chuckle escaped my lips before I turned and headed outside toward the stable.
The moment I entered, my steps slowed.
Staring back at me wasn't a horse.
Though, to be fair, I wasn't particularly surprised.
Memories had already prepared me for this.
A dark green, two-legged beast stood within the stable, its rough scales glinting faintly beneath the moonlight. To my human perspective, it looked disturbingly close to a dinosaur.
A dangerous one.
Yet strangely, instead of hostility, its gaze held familiarity.
Recognition.
It knew me.
Or rather
It knew Outis.
Suppressing my very human instinct to stay far away, I slowly approached with my hand stretched out.
Oddly enough, I found myself recalling scenes from How to Train Your Dragon.
'Well... worth a try.'
My palm touched its rough skin.
Warm.
Surprisingly warm.
Carefully, I rubbed the area between its eyes.
Almost immediately, the creature let out a deep rumbling sound.
It was purring.
Loudly.
"...You actually like this?"
The absurdity of petting what looked like a carnivorous dinosaur almost made me laugh.
Still, the more I touched it, the more comfortable I became. Familiar memories slowly settled my nerves.
Eventually, I nodded to myself and led the beast toward the carriage.
Hooking it up felt surprisingly natural, muscle memory doing most of the work.
The carriage itself was unlike anything from the human world.
While it still maintained a medieval elegance, its design oddly took inspiration from modern vehicles. The usual coachman area was completely removed, allowing everything to be controlled from the comfort of the passenger seat.
Its exterior was smooth and black, elegant in appearance, while the interior carried a luxurious golden-brown finish. Thin, dark crystals served as window glass, giving it a refined look.
"Fancy."
Stepping inside, I relaxed into the seat and took hold of the reins.
With a small signal, the carriage began moving.
At first, the pace felt annoyingly slow.
But gradually, it sped up.
Soon enough, we were rapidly making our way toward town.
Unfortunately, the road was terrible.
The carriage shook violently against the uneven ground.
'Argh.'
"Damn, this road is really bumpy."
One rough shake nearly threw me sideways.
Honestly, for a civilization capable of soul experiments, their roads were embarrassingly bad.
By the time we reached town, I had already grown tired of the road.
I slowed the carriage with familiar ease, guiding it into the flow of traffic. Above, a giant full moon hung at the center of the pitch-black sky, casting its pale glow over everything beneath it. There were no stars, no clouds—just endless darkness illuminated by the moon's quiet radiance.
The town beneath it was lively.
Voices echoed from roadside stalls while merchants loudly advertised their goods. Different kinds of carriages rolled through the uneven streets, occasionally shaking as they passed over poorly laid stone. People moved through the market with practiced familiarity, purchasing goods, bargaining, and simply going about their lives.
It was peaceful.
Surprisingly peaceful.
A stark contrast to the harsh fantasy world my human mind had expected.
"Sir!"
"Sir!"
"Sir!"
A youthful voice suddenly called out.
The voice sounded familiar, and almost immediately, memories surfaced.
I turned toward the source.
A young girl stood near one of the stalls, waving enthusiastically.
"Ah... Amaya," I said softly as I stepped out of the carriage.
After locking the door out of habit, I walked over.
"Hello there, Amaya," I greeted with a small smile.
The girl blinked in surprise.
"Sir Outis?" she asked hesitantly, taking a small step back. "Is that really you?"
I paused briefly before remembering why she looked so confused.
Right.
My appearance had changed.
"Yes, it's me," I replied with a light chuckle. "I just look a little different."
"A little?" she muttered quietly, eyes widening.
I chose to ignore that.
"How have you and your mother been?" I asked.
Amaya quickly nodded.
"Mother is doing well!" she replied enthusiastically before hesitating slightly. "Um... what are you shopping for today, Sir Outis?"
"Hmm."
I thought for a moment.
Truthfully, I hadn't planned anything. But acting strangely now would only invite unnecessary suspicion.
"I should probably buy a few books," I said eventually.
Her eyes lit up instantly.
"Great! I'll take you to the stall!"
I smiled faintly and gestured ahead.
"Lead the way."
We moved through the market at a relaxed pace. The deeper we walked, the more varied the stalls became. Some looked like they were barely held together, their worn wood threatening to collapse at any moment. Others appeared modest but respectable, while a few practically screamed wealth through elaborate decorations and expensive displays.
Without needing memories to explain it, anyone could tell the owners' financial situations just by looking.
After nearly thirty minutes of walking, we reached a stall tucked deep within the market. It was larger than most, yet oddly forgettable. Its shabby appearance blended too easily into the surroundings, making it easy to overlook.
No customers were nearby.
Though considering how deep into the market it was, that wasn't exactly surprising.
Getting robbed here honestly felt possible.
Behind the counter sat a middle-aged woman absentmindedly humming to herself. The moment she noticed us, she froze.
For a second, confusion flashed across her face.
Then panic.
Without warning, she rushed forward and dropped to her knees.
"I'm sorry, my Lord!" she blurted out, bowing deeply. "I'm terribly sorry my daughter brought you to this dump!"
For a moment, I simply stood there.
Even Amaya looked completely stunned.
Clearly, this wasn't normal.
Quickly crouching down, I placed a hand lightly on her shoulder.
Her body instantly tensed beneath my touch.
"Please rise, Mrs. Charna," I said calmly. "It's me. Outis."
She slowly looked up.
"...Outis?"
I gave a small nod and stepped back, gesturing for her to stand.
The woman hesitated before carefully rising to her feet, still staring at me in disbelief.
"Sir Outis?" she asked cautiously. "How do you look so... different?"
I thought for a moment.
There was no way I could explain the truth.
"Let's just say it was the result of an experiment," I replied with a small smile.
Her expression shifted immediately.
"Ah... the things scholars do," she muttered with a tired sigh.
Apparently, that explanation worked better than expected.
"So," she continued, dusting her clothes, "what brings you here today, Sir Outis?"
"Hmm. Any updates on the book I've been searching for?"
Her expression immediately turned apologetic.
"I'm sorry, but still nothing."
I sighed internally.
'As expected.'
"I see. In that case, give me a few books on souls. Novice-level ones."
"Right away."
She immediately moved toward the shelves, quickly pulling books out one after another and stacking them onto the counter.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven—
"Mrs. Charna," I interrupted with a helpless smile, "six is enough"
"Oh!"
She looked mildly embarrassed.
"Sorry."
After putting some back, she carefully dusted the remaining books with a cloth before arranging them neatly.
"So, how much?" I asked, reaching into my pocket.
"Just ten Donn night steel, Sir."
I nodded, pulling out my pouch and counting the coins before handing them over.
Beside me, Amaya quickly picked up the books.
"I'll help carry them!" she said proudly.
"Thanks," I replied.
Together, we returned to the carriage. After unlocking the door, I carefully placed the books onto the seat before turning toward her.
"Thanks for the help, Amaya."
The girl smiled brightly.
"You're welcome, Sir Outis!"
I watched her leave before stepping back into the carriage.
For a while, I simply sat there in silence, staring through the windshield.
'Smiling sure is exhausting.'
I really hadn't expected to buy books today.
But I had little choice.
Acting too differently would only attract suspicion.
Still...
That unnecessary conversation had drained me more than expected.
My thoughts drifted toward The Merging.
The book both versions of me had obsessed over.
A theory disguised as story.
The first volume detailed an unstable method of soul merging, the very one I had used.
Dangerous.
Incomplete.
The second volume, however, supposedly carried a more refined process.
Yet after its announcement
Nothing.
For twelve years, it completely disappeared.
Until recently.
A rumor had begun circulating among the scholar faction.
Volume Two already existed.
Someone had simply hidden it.
And for a book of that importance to disappear so thoroughly, the person responsible had to possess influence.
A noble.
A scholar.
Or someone powerful enough to silence both.