Loneliness and fear. At first glance they don't seem like much. Emotions that everyone feels throughout their life but like most things they are not a constant. They fade and better times come.
At least, that's the way Will has heard it's supposed to be.
Will continued his walk home from school. The freezing rain soaking through his thin jacket; his shivering doing little to keep him warm.
His hair was plastered to his face and guided the water into his eyes. He's too cold to make the effort of wiping the water out of his eyes worth it. His jeans, shirt and shoes have long since soaked through, and he knows wringing them out later and hanging them up to dry is going to be a pain. But it's better than putting on wet clothes in the morning so he knows it'll have to be done.
He absently thinks of what it must be like to own a dryer and feel warm clothes fresh out of it against his skin. Maybe one day.
At fifteen, Will had become used to the hour long walk to and from school. His father owned a car but he doesn't drive it. His mother….well he was sure she drives a car wherever she is. She left when Will was five. He had no idea what happened and his father doesn't talk about it. He rather spend his days and his disability check on his favorite past time.
Finally making it home, Will walked in to his small one story house to see his father passed out on the couch with some random show playing on the tv. A mountain of cans at his feet showing he spent the day partaking of his favorite hobby. Drinking and escaping reality.
He knew his father loved him, but losing his mother hit him hard and he never really recovered.
Will threw a blanket over him and headed down the hall to his room.
Fear and loneliness.
Will managed to make it into his room before the tears started.
"Why am I such a whimp!" He screamed into his pillow.
Another day gone by. Another day of no friends, another day of no mother, another day of an absent father. Another day of the kids at school making his life one torture after another.
He stood up to them once. Just to get bruised ribs, a cut lip, a black eye, shattered pride and further isolation as a prize for his courage. Goes to show what trying to go against the grain, trying to stick up for himself got him.
Fear and loneliness.
Those things aren't supposed to last forever right? There's supposed to be good times to break up the bad isn't there? Surely no one can have this much bad luck, this much of a horrible life forever? The tears continued to fall uncontrolled as his questions went without an answer.
Please…someone help. He thinks to himself as he curls into a ball and cried.
The loneliness continues to crush him. It felt like he was sinking beneath the sea and the pressure continued to build, crushing him further and further until there was nothing left. He was starved for a smile, a friendly nod, for someone to tell him they care. He felt like he was trapped in a net of desperation that he couldn't rip himself out of. The loneliness…it hurt. The pain that lanced through him felt physical. How can being alone hurt so much. He didn't know something could hurt so badly. He cried into his pillow hating the world. He cried because that's all he could do. He cried himself to sleep.
Will groaned as he woke up. He could only guess by his damp clothes that it was sometime in the middle of the night. He forced himself to get up to hang up his clothes to dry so he didn't get sick. Before he does, he went to the bathroom to take a sip of water from the faucet.
He stared at himself in the mirror. Dull, flat blue eyes looked back at him. Medium length brown hair falling around his tortured eyes. A slightly pudgy face to complete the sad visage. All he saw was a disgusting face that not even a mother could apparently love.
An extreme urge to slam his fist into the mirror came over him. Disgust at himself and his self worth overwhelmed him. He didn't know whether to lash out in anger or start crying again.
Get a grip Will!
Will sighed at himself. The emotion leaving as fast as it came. What is wrong with me? Am I really so ugly? So useless?
Will just shakes his head at himself, takes a sip of water and then goes back to bed.
Will walked to school the next morning feeling even worse than he did the night before. Something he wasn't sure was possible.
School goes as it always does. Loneliness and fear. Fear of the bullying, fear of how much longer this could really go on for. And as that fear grew, Will found himself afraid of more and more things. The future, his father, his responsibilities. His major fear of being hurt and ridiculed feeding his fears of everything else. Even if the fear of other things didn't make sense. As bad as those fears were though, the loneliness was worse.
Was it weird to have an imaginary friend at fifteen? Will thought so, but he had to do something to combat the loneliness. He knew it was odd, and probably not the most healthy, but it helped..just a little.
He imagined his imaginary best friend walking beside him in the halls of his high school when disaster struck. He pictured his friend weaving in and out and around other students while his friend laughs and talks about all the cool things they'll get to see when they go to college one day. He hadn't named his friend yet. He felt like if he did he would be crossing a line that he wasn't sure he was ready to. Almost like he would be fully giving in to being crazy.
It was at that point, Will glad the day was almost over, that he looked up and saw his bully. Brad Hizer. Red hair, tall for his age, fat, and wearing clothes only slightly less ratty than Will's own.
They locked eyes right as Will looked up and he knew he was in trouble. There was anger in his eyes. An extra glint of cruelty that was only there on the worst days. He must of had a bad day, which meant Will's torture was about to get much worse.
Luckily Will was walking next to a door to the outside of the school when he noticed Brad. He took advantage of it and bolted outside. He saw out of the corner of his eye Brad hurrying to follow. Will ran for all he was worth. As a sophomore in high school he should be taller, but apparently he was a late bloomer. At 5'2 his legs weren't long enough to carry him very fast and his stick thin frame doesn't have the power to make up the difference.
He had a decent head start though, so he let fear and adrenaline keep him going long past when he otherwise would have been forced to stop and catch his breath.
As Will ran he noticed the school's sports program supply shed was left open. Will bolted inside of it and quickly closed the door behind him. He waits, ears strained to the max, anxiety on over drive. The seconds passed, then the minutes. He wasn't willing to try his luck. He rather sit there all night than risk the beat down that was waiting for him if Brad found him. Hours go by. Probably excessive, but fear kept him locked in place. The only reason he was able to build up the courage to leave was because he knew the coaches would be bringing back equipment pretty soon. He wasn't sure of the time, but the sun wasn't far from setting and after school sports only went for so long.
Will tentatively peaked his head out of the shed. The coast seemed to be clear. He bolted out and started running again. He took the long way home. Way out of the way in case Brad tried to lay in wait for him on his normal route. He'd done that a couple times before.
An hour went by. Then another.
This is the right way right?
He'd only taken this way a few times but he was sure this was the right road to walk down.
He continued walking. He was at the end of a suburban street and was walking along a big stretch of woods. He was pretty sure he recognized the area. Builders hadn't gotten to far into that area yet but there was an old access road they'd been slowly paving to expand the neighborhood. He was pretty sure if he followed the access road a little and then cut through the woods he'd come out near his home.
He made his way down the road eventually cut through the woods. He noticed the sun finishing its decent and was soon walking in darkness.
Fifteen minutes of walking went by. Then thirty. Slowly he was getting more and more nervous. After an hour he starts to run.
He was still running in the same direction right? He was pretty sure he'd been going the same way. By the time the moon started to rise Will was bent over, hands on his knees and panting, trying to catch his breath. He looked up to try and get his barring and gasped. The moon was huge! And blue? And not just any blue, it was a deep and rich blue. A shade he wasn't even not sure he'd ever seen before.
He stared for a few more minutes, his eyes having trouble looking away.
Eventually he looked back around himself. He sighed. As bad as this was, it was still better than dealing with Brad Hizer.
He took a few deep breaths and tried to calm himself down. All the shows he'd ever watched had always said that being calm was the best way of getting out of a bad situation. It allowed you to think straight and make less mistakes.
He was pretty sure he saw on an online video that a good trick to finding your way out of the woods was to pick a tree moderately far away and walk to it and then repeat. It was supposed to allow you to walk in a straight line and not end up going in circles.
So that's exactly what he did. Another two hours went by like this.
As much as he tried to fight it, panic started to slowly set back in. Before he could stop himself he let the fear rule him and he started running again. The trees blurred by and the only other thing his panicked mind was able to take in besides the need to find his way out was the massive blue moon shining down on him from above. It painted his surroundings in a shade so blue you would think he was under water.
He sprinted for all he was worth. The entire situation adding fuel to the fire that was his growing fear and panic. He pushed himself to go even faster than he had when running from Brad. Suddenly his foot gets caught on a branch and he goes down hard; his head smacking against the ground.
He groaned and managed to turn over on his back, his vision swimming. He became confused as his vision started to darken and the last thing he saw before he lost consciousness was a bright blue light that felt like it was swallowing him whole.